3. The Ice Cream Man Cometh

This episode revolved around the fading popularity of local ice cream vans. The subject of the documentary is Mr Softytop, a grumpy ice-cream man who verbally assaults his customers and Darren, his assistant. His attempts to boost sales include inventing the "Millennium Cone", selling at the site of road accidents and renting pornography, films include: Shaving Private Ryan, Beverly Hills Cock, Look Who's Porkin and the Phantom Penis. (A real sex shop in Bolton is called Softy's Hard Stuff). To make matters worse he has to compete with a new competitor, Signór Wippy.